[We join our newest administrator in her pimp den of Macs where she claims she legitimately 'works', one window open to LM, MSN messenger hanging open in the breeze like a whore walking the boulevard with no panties. It should be noted that there was a time in the very recent past when this administrator was having a slice of pizza and a beer with myself that she said something along the lines of, 'I don't use a messenger at all. If I do, I find that I don't get any work done.' Oh how the mighty fall... -ed.]
olaf: Hello, rooze.
rooze: hello, olaf! olaf: How do!
rooze: Is now a good time to p/p? How do I what? 
olaf: How do?
rooze: Carefully. Always carefully. How are you?olaf: Well as can be.
rooze: What are you up to at the moment?olaf: So, yes, ping pong, we could try. Well, it's evening, I'm debating whether to go out or stay in!
rooze: Oops.... one moment please, kind sir. I'll be right back. So Stay IN! for at least a few minutes more.olaf: ok
rooze: Alrighty, then. You now have my full undivided attention.olaf: You have mine.
rooze: You nervous about this little chat at all?olaf: Nope. I don't even know what it entails.
rooze: Well, then. That makes one of us. olaf: So, let's begin....We could just use this entire chat as the ping pong
rooze: Perfect. We'll let the editors that be weed through our nonsense and not worry about it ourselves. [cunts –ed.]olaf: Absolutely.
rooze: I have a ton of questions for you. Hard to decide where to start. How about alter-egos?olaf: There is only one. And to be honest, I have only started using it of recent....I used to occassionally use the name Olaf here in there in a character poem, but only recently have I thought about developing it into a proper alter-ego.
rooze: I didn't draw the connection between Olaf and ee cummings until you started that delightful post with his work in it. The funny thing is, that when I read you poetry, it often reminds me of him.olaf: Yes, that was the first time I came across the name and word: OLAF.
rooze: So it is a perfect alter-ego name for you.olaf: Oddly enough, you are not alone in saying my poems remind you of cummings....But more so, they remind you of the 'flights of fancy' he had. We share a similar spirit with the word I think - playful...childish. Corrupt and therefore incorruptible! haha!
rooze: Yes, with a unique voice that isn't confined by contemporary ideals of what poetry should be. Or should I say isn't corrupted by those ideals?olaf: I have no idea.
rooze: Does having Olaf help give you freedom to write the way you do?olaf: No. I wouldn't say so...but Olaf is becoming a vehicle for saying things in a particular way...I have always written in a way that - confronts. And, it's strange; I really have burst through certain subjects I thought I would never reach. But Olaf will definitely play a strong part in my writing.... I'm not sure whether Olaf will become the ENTIRE thing or whether he will be one of the main alter-egos and the rest is simply - McGuire. Me. Colin! Alone!
rooze: That makes sense to me, actually. I have my own alter-ego (rooze in a way) that centers me into a different way of communicating or thinking that being my - Yvonne - does not. But sometimes it makes me feel downright schizophrenic.olaf: Hmm, perhaps....I don't feel schizophrenic. But, I'm sure many people do haha! In my non-internet life, at least.
rooze: laughing. Well, I guess for me it is because Yvonne is what I go by in my business and with my family. And those places are completely different and separate from who I am when I write poetry. [i always address her in personal situations as 'Yvonne'. now i feel weird about that. -ed]olaf: True. I go by Colin. Some friends call me McGuire. And, I use Olaf as an internet name often. SO, three names, one person!
rooze: All my friends call me rooze. Well, most. A few from my childhood still call me Yvonne or... god, I hate to share this... Vonnie. So I have Rooze, Yvonne, and Vonnie. olaf: No split personality as of yet....hehe All fine names!
rooze: Well, we can have a Brady bunch chat with your three names and my three names! What type of subjects have you burst through that you thought you'd never reach? olaf: Well, more so when younger and I wrote about 'things' - like 'nature' and 'death' and 'eye contact' all the time, being worried senseless by being a bit of a queer. And I thought I would never write about those subjecs - sexuality, perversion, instability, but as I grew up, I realized those were clearly the very subjects I had to breach, A simple lesson, but at the time it seems like quite a challenge. For most people, the subject might be quite trivial or unappealing, but yet privately when writing, you can't really believe you are getting all your shit out in the open - 'airing your dirty washing' - so to speak.
rooze: Absolutely. olaf: And, once you air the dirty washing, you have room for other parts of yourself
rooze: Well said, Olaf. I can resonate with that very well. Often when I'm working on a poem, I'll discover certain feelings that I didn't know I hadolaf: Yeah, it's a common theme in private life, I’m sure.
rooze: Recently, GK mentioned to me that it must have been difficult to write a poem I wrote. And it wasn't at all.olaf: Which poem?
rooze: 'Beatings, Received and Given’. It is, as you can deduct, about being beaten. laughing. What else with that title! But I find it very easy to get that kind of stuff out there. It gives me great material for poetry that is real and authentic. And it almost always starts with an idea, a phrase, an image, so that it takes me reading it a few times to go holy shit, that's my life I'm writing aboutolaf: I read it. It was strong. Sincere.
rooze: Thanks. Are most of your poems autobiographical? olaf: Hmmm, most of them are based on things I have experienced or situations I come across day to day, yes. And then, of course, there are the wild poetic imaginings, that I enjoy that are more about playing with language and concepts and so on.
rooze: Yes, that's the sense I get from reading your poems. They weave in and out from a very personal place back out into "language and concepts" as you say. What was the inspiration for Notes to his ex-wife? I love that poem.olaf: brb phone.
rooze: kkolaf: bk.
rooze: Need a moment to catch up with my babblings?olaf: And, the inspiration for my poem from 'Notes from his ex-wife’ Was actually a reactionary against feminism, in a sense. i.e. that the average white male has suffered so much injustice and inequality, yet, we rarely hear about it. So I thought I’d characterize it in a wee series of notes. So, the husband sort of 'dispels' the myth that woman are the most 'put upon' of the sexes. Has domestic violence featured a lot in your life?
rooze: I liked the series of two-line stanzas and how well it was written. I read it from a very personal place, literally based on the title... it worked well that way. As far as domestic violence, not as an adult, no. As a child, things were pretty dysfunctional.olaf: But, you never experienced chronic domestic violence?
rooze: Up until I was 10, someone pretty much got beaten in my household on very regular basis. After I was 10, the violence at home went away (due to a divorce) but I still had a lot of rage in me and it took me until I was 13 before I stopped beating the shit out of othersolaf: That's strange. I never experienced much violence but when drinking under age, I had a small legacy of getting too drunk and lashing out. Even to this day, I have had recurring bouts of drunken rage
rooze: What part was strange, olaf? olaf: Well, just in general....
rooze: Oh, drunken rage is not something I let's try that again. Drunken rage is something I've only had once. I lashed out at a palm tree. it won.olaf: haha! Well, at least you have become a violent drunk....But, domestic violence must have been strange...I have nothing to compare it to.
rooze: At the time, it seemed quite normal. It wasn't until I left home that I discovered it was not how things should have been. I noticed that you posted some prose as well as poetry. And that you often call your poetry prose. What are your thoughts on prose poetry? Yes, that was a damned odd segue, I know. Just don't want to be Debbie Downer for the readers.olaf: brb
rooze: kkolaf: Sorry rooze I’m being SOOOO ignorant I need to rush out for about 20mins. But i will be back… enjoying this discussion but few things came up
rooze: Not a problem at all... just no drunken rages chat later!olaf: Will you be on for a few hours. I'll be back in a short while
rooze: yup, I'll be here. Talk to you then.olaf: k cheers x
rooze: later.
[And we leave her here, alone but not lonely with the Ping Pong door left wide open, quietly sipping a Guinness and considering her next power move in Scrabulous before she really gets some work done... But wait? Is that a blinking orange window on the bottom of the screen?...
-.ed]
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