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More ping, less pong: This month we offer up an interview of MathMission (with a surprise cameo appearance!).

I caught up with MathMission at his job...

rooze
Is now a good time or do you wanna wait until you get home?

MathMission
Now is fine

rooze
Although that means we're both sober. Do you ever get "unsober" ?

MathMission
I do get a bit "unsober", but I have a bit of apprehension about it all. My father was a 23 year long alcoholic, so I sort of back away from it. I don't have a problem with other people drinking around me, but very rarely do I say to myself "Hey, let's get blasted." Course, there are those days when the only option is to end it as fast as possible

rooze
Yeah, I understand the apprehension. It would make being drunk a bit unattractive as well, I would think.

MathMission
Indeed.

rooze
So, what kind of job do you have that you can play on the forum and be interviewed while you are there?  How do you get away with that (and would they like to hire another person to not do anything)?
   
MathMission
Most government jobs pay little attention to what people are actually doing! I work for Mizzou, in the Extension department. It's a section of the university that serves the entire state with research based knowledge to address anything from business development  and community issues to plants, animals and yes, even what to do if a warrent is out for your arrest (I say that because that call actually came in). I sit at the front desk, and answer calls. On top of that (and all the forum stuff I do) I work for a business magazine, and write articles about Missouri counties.

So I just go back and forth between reading, writing, and answering questions about grass.

rooze
Our tax dollars at work! Sounds like it would be hard to for others to determine if you were actually working working on the internet or just playing with that type of a job. So, what do you do if there is a warrant out for your arrest?

[Hey, looks like we had a bit of a glitch... you still there?]

MathMission
yeah

sorry

phone

rooze
oh, no worries.

MathMission
if I drop off like that, just give me a minute

rooze
Okey dokey. And I'll give you a sec to catch up with that last question. brb!

MathMission
Not sure what I would do if there was a warrent out for my arrest. I've been sued before, but nothing serious enough to hall me into a jail cell. I'm pretty good at avoiding problems, and looking like I'm busy enough to be left alone. MS Word is my protection. Open a document there and start typing, and I've provided myself instant protection.

rooze
One more work question, then we'll move on. I'm just curious, though, is that question (the call about the warrant) the oddest one you've ever received at work?

MathMission
HA no, not at all.

I mean, it's one of the top ones, but I've had someone call me for legal advice about what one should do when they melt the floor with a deep fryer, and someone got hurt.

Just wacky stuff that you wouldn't even know where to start.

Most calls, though, are about agriculture, this being back-woods Missouri

rooze
omg, that deep fryer one is excellent. I would love to have known how the caller opted to call the university's Extension services for that one...

So, before we get much further, I should probably ask if you feel like introducing yourself properly or if you are in the witness protection program and I should just call you MM?

MathMission
MM, Maths, Mathmission, or Brian all work fine with me

rooze
Ah, there it is... Brian! I always feel a bit less disconnected if I know someone's real name. Folks call me rooze offline as well so I have no place to hide.  Anywhoozle, Brian, I was looking through your various forum posts and noticed that you have a broad spectrum of creative expression. You write flash, fiction, poetry, screenplays, musical compositions, photography and you have a production company... Which one is your favorite child? I promise not to tell the others.

* correction. You don't "write" photography but you know what I mean...

MathMission
Oh wow, favorite? I think I'll alwyays have a passion for music. Growing up, music was very important to my family (I should pause to say, classical music). It shapes the stuff I write, my mood, and my perspective. Of course, I can't help but defend my love for writing, all types that is. Poetry is my least favorite, as it always comes out during personal frustration. Writing screenplays is sort of a demoralizing thing for me. I wish very much some day to make some of the films that I've written, and without the proper equipment, I've not been able to do that. But soon (with two jobs now) I'll be able to do just that. Painting is sort of the silent hobby of mine that hasn't really popped up at LitMary yet, similar to my photography.

rooze
Is writing screenplays demoralizing because they haven't been made into films yet?

Or are there other reasons that it is demoralizing?

MathMission
one second....

rooze
k

MathMission
terribly sorry about this, another frantic call

rooze
no worries on my end.

was there a deep fryer involved?

MathMission
No, a pig intenstine

ugh... I need out of this job

rooze
remind me not to ask next time.

MathMission
anyway

Yes, writing scripts is a bit depressing because I know that I can't shoot them right now; don't have the money or equipment. I feel I have a chance in the industry, just like most people think they do! and I'd like to give it a shot (pun intended) and it's just hard when you're ready to go, but cash keeps you from following up.

rooze
Two questions about that:
1. What's the role of your production company? Have you been shooting films or is it just being established?

2. So then are you the kind of writer  that writes with goals in mind (like being published or a film being shot)? Or do you just write to write most of the time but with screenplays it's different?

MathMission
The role of my production company was to put a name behind the random stuff that I'd done. I've made shorter films for myself, and worked with others to produce some short comedies. I made a 22 minute film with no dialogue because someone bet me I couldn't tell a 5 person story without a single word being said. They were all shot at different times, and I wanted to make a linking point to all the work I'd done. As for the kind of writer I am I think I only write with goals in mind when working on screenstories. I write fiction because I love the medium, and I love to tell stories. I hope that one day my work will be interesting enough to end up in a book, but I'm also somewhat of a pessimist.

rooze
That no dialogue film sounds interesting. Is it online anywhere?

MathMission
Yes, I think. Let me hunt for a link... of course now I'm shy!

found it.

rooze
pshaw! How's that different from posting a story or photos or poetry up on the forum?

MathMission
keep in mind, the production companies won't match in the video, but it's all under the Mathmission Films umbrella

http://youtube.com/watch?v=1vEjqSuYXZc

rooze
Cool; thanks! I'll take a look at it once we're done.

MathMission
I'm not sure why it's different. That's a good question

rooze
Well, I know for myself I don't have a problem posting poems. But I get nervous posting photos because I feel more... vulnerable somehow with them. Like I haven't given myself permission yet to say I'm an amateur photographer. Do you get any of that kind of sense with your videos?

And since music is a constant undercurrent in your life, how was it to post your composition? Easier or harder than sharing the link to your video just now?

MathMission
Music is far easier to share. I love to write music and love to listen to it. But I know that I don't have a future career in music compositions. I do want, however, to have some sort of career in writing and film making. When I share a piece of fiction, it's always tense. You guys at LitMary are great for two reasons: you're welcoming, and your honest. I love that. Sharing a video is even harder, as I want it to become something, and I know that the videos I've made so far don't show what I believe I can do with the proper equipment.

If that makes sense....


rooze
That makes perfect sense to me. There's less riding on musical compositions than on your other kind of writing.

So, this drive to make some sort of career in writing and film making, is that what compelled you to get a degree in Creative Writing? [Can I assume it is an MFA?]

MathMission
Sadly, I hold only a Bachelors in English, with emphasis on Creative Writing. I applied to continue my education in Counseling Psychology, but after a gamble of taking three courses before being admitted, I was turned down. So getting a masters is somewhat out of the picture for me, at least for the time being.


rooze
Hell, having a BA in English is nothing to be sad about, really. I'm 37 and still working on that part of the equation! I'm surprised, though, that you were going for Counseling Psychology given your passion for creative arts. Was that more of a practical decision or is there a deeper interest in wanting to go into counseling?
   
   

MathMission
It was a decision that came out of fear of never finding a paying job. I sat down and thought to myself outside of writing, what do I really love to do. The answer was "talking to people" it seemed a good idea at the time to go towards a Counseling Psych degree. And the only way I could make myself appear attractive to the department was take a few courses before being admitted. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough


rooze
Bummer. I read on your forum, Scribefarm, that you were kinda relieved to be done with school for a while, though. Is that aspect, the one of being out of academics, still appealing to you as well?

And since we've mentioned posting on forums...you made a comment on your xanga blog:  "I’m sure, after all these years, that sharing my work before it’s finished is the cause of my incompletion." How does that idea fit into your participation in Mary and in also running your own writing forum?

MathMission
Yes. I feel jaded. Turned down by my own alma mater, turned down by my employer. I do know that there were more qualified people than me, but unfortunately, education has left a bad taste in my mouth. I wouldn't mind a formal training in writing, or in film making, but I think, for the time being, I'm done with taking classes. I would like to focus more on the things that make me happy, that interest me.

Ah, Xanga... Well, let me rephrase something there. Most of what people have seen on LitMary, and most of what's come across Scribefarm have been smaller pieces, flash fictions, or things I'd like opinions on. I did post a longer story on Scribefarm once, and sure enough, I've not worked on it since. I do believe that I take criticism poorly when dealing with larger pieces. I think, maybe, that's why I like flash fiction so much. I like getting feedback, and I don't have to worry about picking back up. I'm working on a novel/novellette/novella right now, and have done well not to share it with anyone yet. And hopefully I'll keep working on it.


rooze
Does it feel like you've just invested so much more time on the longer pieces that getting crits on it means a lot more revision than on smaller pieces?

MathMission
No, not really. The longer pieces hold a lot more personal information than the short fictions do. The flashes remind me of moments in my life where I take notice ot the smallest things. The larger ones focus more on my personal feelings towards themes I hold dear. Maybe that's why I hate not finishing them...

I get caught up on making them perfect, and get lost in the process. I love the idea... but never can get passed the grits of the story. I want it to become what I pictured it to be (as if a movie) and do my best to write it just so. In the end, I get lost in the greater details, rather than just getting the idea down, and going back later.


rooze
So do you have a different writing approach based on what you are writing? For example, do you outline or storyboard for longer pieces?

MathMission
I never outline, or storyboard. That's got to be the problem. HAHA! I go with a feeling, or something I noticed earlier in the day. I try to hold on to it, and it just goes from there. I will write a short outline of something I don't want to forget, but I find that it's just another way to get lost in the process, rather than just doing it. I know, I'm bad!

(feel free to up the burner on the questions  I'm a very open person)


rooze
Okay, let's deviate for a minute from writing process... You once said that Mary wasn't the most deviant writing forum you've been on... do tell!

MathMission
Before Mary, Before Scribefarm, I was (and when time permits, still am) a part of two forums I refer to as P2P and UTC. P2Pconsortium, and UniteTheCows are both...uh... media distribution sites. They discuss the rights of file transfers and whatnot. Of course, quite the ROOZE, I'm not overly into that part of the sites. I've always been a community driven person, so I visit them for the entertainment. I say deviant simply due to subject matter. When it comes down to it, they're a bunch of people that love to hang out and talk about something they're not really doing much about.

I don't really participate in those discussions, but they're friends, nevertheless

And then....


rooze
and then???

MathMission
there's Fictionpost.com. I think that actually might have been the site I was talking about when I said that. I believe that on LitMary, the deviant comment came from the fact that we were off topic. Fictionpost is a writing forum that has nothing to do with writing


rooze
okay, adding that to my bookmarks!

MathMission
crap....



they're good people, but get off topic, and are much younger than the LitMary crowd


rooze
Well, we won't mention it to jen then! Sounds like cougar heaven... Moving on.

Speaking of deviant, there was one of your "Case" stories you weren't sure of where to post... Want to talk about those stories a bit?

MathMission
Sure. Case is actually a story that I wrote that became the novel that I'm working on now. I've always found sexuality very interesting, and despite it sounding awkward saying it, I'd would jump at the chance to change my sex for a few months. The story is about a man that is in an unidentfiable hospital and is undergoing a transformation. The story was written more like a documented medical re-telling, but it inspired me to continue and explore what might happen if such a service were available. And I'm not talking about the surgery we have today. I'm talking full out biological transformation. I respect the female body, and I think it comes out a lot in my writing. This was just another way for me to expore something I love within writing, and it was a topic that had been on my mind for some time.


rooze
** Brief interruption . We have a call in question from the other line. It’s our very own AwfulBigAdventure herself, Kay [and her magnificent breasts... that just never gets old for me]. Go ahead, Kay.


AwfulBigAdventure:
"I want to know Boxers or Briefs
it's so hard to tell with internet people
and I spend hours thinking about it
Oh, and tell him sorry for hijacking his threat about fiction
I'm normally a good person
... sometimes"
   


rooze: So, Brian, Boxers or Briefs?

Or, given the above discussion, frilly pinks instead?

MathMission
I'm particular about my underware. Black lace does it for me. I like something that's got shape, but leaves room for imagination. Sleek underware that compliments a body will bring me to my knees. Pink is hot too, frills make it all the better. So, in conclusion, Hanes Boxers.


rooze
laughing. Always the fiction writer. Although,  since Kay brings up clothing, there was a question you posted about the role of clothing in sex. I never followed up with the responses. What's your take on your own question?

MathMission
Wow, you really did do your homework. I think that clothing plays an enormous role in sexuality. We’re a species that thrives on discovery. For me, it’s a constant game. It's an important part for me. I can get into sex quickly if the situation is right, but I'd much rather work my way through the layers first. I think somewhere I made comments (on this forum or others) that it was unfair that men have such drap clothing compared to women. But I guess that's how we've developed. And I've nothing wrong with working through some of the most intricate, curve-hugging garmets to get to the end. It's all a wonderful game. So, to answer the question, it's a very important part of sex, for me at least.

There's more sexuality in one pair of black stilleto heels than there are all flat out naked porn sites on the web.


rooze
You know, I can't help but hear Hodge's voice in my head saying how women only wear those things because of culturally conditioning. It's an illness really, hearing Hodge's voice in my head. While stilleto's don't do it for me (unless the person wearing them is also holding a whip), I do understand the idea of the visual stimulation of which you speak.

MathMission
Haha, I know what you mean


rooze
We should wrap this up soon since it's almost time for you to stop working (ha!)... anything you want to mention that I haven't asked yet?

MathMission
Well, I'm the only one left in the office, so I'm good up until five  I think you covered me very well. It's always hard to come up with things I should have mentioned well after the fact, so if you've got more, please feel free to ask. You've covered writing, work, sex, underware, film, hobbies, pretty much all the stuff I'd expect in an interview.


rooze
laughing. gotta love the bits and pieces we find out about a person via the internet these days (Googling Mathmission results in 17,800 hits. The first one being your profile on The Spoof). I do have a couple more main-stream writing questions for you, though.

At one point on the forum, you mentioned going through a writer's block for four years. Did you not write at all during that time? What defines writer's block for you?

MathMission
Those bastards at NaNoWriMo ruined me! Haha, yeah, four years is a long time to go without ever really producing anything. I did their little challenge and found that sacrificing quality for quantity was a rather poisonous thing for me. After I participated, and realized how bad the writing became, I focused so heavily on editing that I'd rarely make it passed the first page. I'd go back, tweak here and there, trying to make it as perfect as I possibly could before moving on. The writers block came a bit after that. I felt that all the ideas I came up with were garbage, so I never followed up on them. I wrote, here and there, but nothing ever serious, and I never returned to it. I am guilty of destroying a rather large 30,000 word text because I felt it was terrible, and not worth the effort to revisit. I ended up teaching myself to play the piano, paint, code websites and work with digital media while away from writing. I did a lot of traveling as well, as my father insisted that my block was caused by "not experiencing the world".

Yeah, 1,200 dollars and three cities later, I found that I just needed to take a break, and start small. That meant flash fiction for me. As you can see, I've not really worked my way out of the hole.


rooze
Hey, 1,200 isn't bad for travelling! I saw your NaNoWriMo page and wondered how that experience was for you. Now I know! I tried it and gave up after one week. One last question for you...

Some of your confessions regard game playing. What's your favorite game?

MathMission
Good lord that's a hard question. In short all the Half-Life games, Team Fortress 2, Warcraft 2 and 3 (not World of Warcraft), all the Medal of Honor games, and about anything that came out for the Super Nintendo. God! Earthworm Jim, and Donkey Kong Country! Back in the day when my dad used to come home and mix vodka with pepsi, he'd take me and my brother to rent a game for the weekend. I played so many damn nintendo games, and they each have their own little part of me that I miss. But if I had to choose just one, the one I play the most and probably could play over and over again, is Half-Life 2.


rooze
I'm worried now about what we may have unleashed with that question and comment... And I'm disappointed that you didn't mention the Myst series. They are so stunningly beautiful.

MathMission
HA

DAMNIT

I completely forgot

I have all the myst games, the third being my favorite


rooze
I'm still partial to the original. First love and all that.

Thanks for volunteering for this month's ping pong, Mr. Brian Math Mission.

Enjoy the rest of your night!

MathMission
Haha, you too, my friend. I really appreciate the chance to get to know everyone, and I'd love to know more members on this level. LitMary is a great site, and has some great people there; even Hodge. I hope you have an excellent night as well, and I look forward to this ping pong!

rooze
It's a wrap! Sorry, couldn't resist the urge to end it with that.

MathMission
Send to print!  Tah-tah!