Cycle of the Moon
By
Alexandria V. Stone
Our dreams consist of images contained within our imagination, given a breath of life and allowed to mature and develop while our conscious mind sleeps. Our reality is what we can take in with our natural senses. It is what we cope with in our day to day lives. Reality is what we believe to be an unalterable truth.
At least that’s the lie I allowed to thrive in my mind and my heart until my sixteenth birthday when my reality shattered as the realm of my dreams converged with my sense of truth. . .
“Ceri: Happy birthday. We’re at Sierra’s house for the weekend. There are leftovers in the refrigerator and cash for pizza on the kitchen counter, next to the sink. Keep the house in order – Mom. ” I sighed as I crumbled the note and tossed it into the mesh wire trash bin under the desk in my study. “Thanks, Mom,” I muttered. Leaning the chair as far back as it would go without spilling me onto the floor. I flickered my annoyed gaze to the creative writing book sitting next to my computer.
The date was Friday, October 15, 2010. I had a short story assignment due this coming Thursday. “A creative story with a flair of the writer’s soul,” was what my professor told us to use for our inspiration. Great. A lot of help that little tidbit of thought would be. Growling quietly in the back of my throat, I crawled out of my chair and left the room.
Ever since I forced myself to get out of bed, I had felt a stirring that went soul deep. Everything looked different, sharper in detail. Colors seemed more vivid, almost alive. It was making me more irritable than normal.
Halfway down the hallway, heading towards the kitchen, a soft whimper rippled across my awareness. I paused and tilted my head towards my younger brother’s bedroom. The door was closed. Closed was good though; It meant Joseph was still in the house. If it were open, I’d worry. As I raised my hand to knock the handle turned and the door creaked open.
My brother was silhouetted in the light from his room, his appearance so different from my own. A mop of curly and unruly chestnut hair covered his head, highlights of multi-hued browns and dirty blond catching the light as he tilted his head back to look up at me through those haunting blue eyes of his. Standing at five foot seven, I towered over my brother by a good five inches. He had a scrawny build where mine was lithe and athletic. He was Irish white. I was sun-kissed bronze even though the only time I spent in the sun was the time needed to walk from one class to another on campus. I was adopted after my birth, though my adopted family wouldn’t mention anything about my birth parents. Every time I brought the subject up, a look of fear would flicker in their eyes and they would refuse to speak until the subject was changed.
“Happy birthday, Ceri,” Joseph whispered in a sleep groggy voice. Opening his door fully, he brushed past me to lean against the wall next to me.
I smiled at him and briskly ruffled my hand through his hair, knots catching slightly on my fingernails. “G’morning, kiddo. Was that you whimpering a few moments ago?”
“Yeah,” he whispered shyly. “I didn’t want to wake up after my alarm clock buzzed at me. ”
His shyness made me laugh as I extracted my hand from his tangled hair and headed towards the kitchen. Glancing over my shoulder, I called out, “I’m making breakfast. Want some?” At my brothers’ silent nod, I smiled and proceeded to pull the bacon and eggs out of the refrigerator.
#
An hour later, I watched Joseph pour his attention into his sixth grade math homework. It hurt my heart a little to see him trying to understand the multitude of whole numbers and fractions, but I wouldn’t help him unless he asked for it. I’d tried that only once before. He had taken it as an insult to his ability to understand and learn on his own.
'I miss regular school,' I thought.
'I wonder if I did the right thing in opting to graduate two years early from high school?' As soon as the thought entered my mind, I mentally growled and shook myself.
'Nonsense,' I chided myself.
'Had you stayed in high school, you would have been bored to death and ultimately failed all of your classes. ' Feeling a little envious of the eleven year old sitting across from me, I pulled my laptop onto the table and opened it.
Writing was a passion of mine. It offered an escape for my thoughts and my ideas so that they didn’t remain floating around my mind and making me question my sanity. So why was it that I couldn’t think of anything for this creative writing assignment? I shifted my chocolate brown gaze to one of the windows of the glass dining room, watching as hummingbirds fluttered from one feeder to another and chirped angrily at any competition they might find. It amused me and made me wonder what it would be like to be out there with them, rebelling in the freedom they must feel.
'There’s your idea, Ceri, girl. Start writing. ' Opening a new Word Document, I let my thoughts drift from my fingers to the electronic paper. I typed faster in an effort to clear my mind, to purge my soul of the imaginative and wild ideas that kept my attention enraptured.
#
Dusk was falling as I finally leaned back and stretched the kinks out of my back from sitting for hours on end. My paper was done and my mind was blessedly clear. I had the remainder of the night and the weekend to enjoy myself. My gaze went back to the glass showing the outside freedom to me in shadows. I wanted to be out there. I wanted to walk under the moonlight and revel in that temporary glimpse of freedom I would have.
Standing, I closed my laptop and made my way across the house to Joseph’s room. The door was closed again. A smile pulled at the corner of my mouth.
‘Typical, Joseph. ’ I pressed a hand to the door, the varnished wood smooth against my palm. “Joseph,” I called. “I’m heading out for a walk. Wanna come with me? Get some fresh air?” I waited and listened. The moments ticked by, leaving me restless and fidgety to be going. Sighing, I pulled away from the door and turned down the hallway. “Fine,” I muttered under my breath.
After stepping outside, I locked the door behind me and took a moment to breathe in the crisp night air. After steadying myself, I padded away from the house at a slow, easy pace.
Needing to be away from civilization, I detoured off of the sidewalk and picked my way through the dense tangles of overgrown weeds and moss of the encroaching woodland. Once inside the mass of trees, a sense of peace wrapped itself around my body. The tension in my muscles gradually faded away, my mind went silent, and I continued walking with a growing sense of awe as moonlight trickled through the canopy and illuminated patches of the woodland’s mossy floor. Multi-toned greens, inflections of silver, and shadows that seemed to twist and dance passed by me. In truth, they seemed to be circling me, moving in a joyous play to an unheard music.
I stopped walking and raised my head to the sky and the full moon shining like a beacon beyond the treetops. ‘To be this free,’ I mused. ‘To be lost in the dance of the woodlands – of nature. Can I break the chains of the world I was raised in. . . and just run free? Like the wolf. ’ My mind shuttered to a halt as the word wolf echoed within. A shiver passed through me, as if I had just stepped through an unseen barrier of wind. Brushing off the sudden sense of unease curling in my gut, I began picking my way through the underbrush; the dancing, joyous play of colors eclipsed in moonlight soon pulling me back into their web.
#
A sharp crack reverberated though the trees, close enough to pull me out of the dancing weave of color and my sense of peace. I froze, my muscles tensing as I turned in a slow circle, straining my eyes in an effort to see what or who was nearby. After a few fear riddled circles, I tilted my head to the sky again. Instantly, my gaze went to the full moon, its' light enrapturing me and pulling me back into the spell created by the nature around me. A soft chuckle passed my lips as I thought of how silly it was to have jumped when it was probably just a nocturnal animal trying to get back to its den. I began to walk again, lowering my gaze back to the path before me. As my eyesight readjusted to the shadows of the undergrowth, I froze again with a scream locked in my throat.
Half a dozen wolves were blocking my path, fur rippling and eyes gleaming with the reflected moonlight filtered through the trees. I couldn't move, my muscles locked in fear and my pulse beating a rapid tempo in my ears. I watched, paralyzed, as the wolves began to circle around me, gradually getting closer to me with each rotation. Fear welled up stronger as I took a hesitant step backwards.
'This is it, then,' my mind whispered meekly as fear and adrenaline pulsed a searing path across my skin.
‘Run!’ my instincts screamed at me. Giving in to the rising current of my own fear, the taste metallic at the back of my throat, I spun around and bolted blindly through the encroaching trees. Branches scratched at me, weeds and mossy overgrowth tangled around my feet and ankles like hands determined to stop me and hold me in place for my fear to consume me. I fought, suppressing the urge to scream for help. As far away from civilization as I was, no one would hear me.
For what felt like hours of running, the trees began to thin and the welcoming lights of the neighborhood swam into view.
'I'm almost there! Oh, God, please let me make it!' Tears stung my cheeks as relief flooded through me. Behind me, the pattering of the wolves giving chase increased.
'No! Please, please, please,' chanted in my mind. An uneasy pulse shot through my body, pain flaring to life and searing my veins. With a startled cry, I tumbled into the waiting arms of the earthen floor. Curled up, my arms cradling my head, I burned as the flames raged inside and the wolves caught me and began circling again. Multiple sets of ears were perked in my direction, tongues lolling from open mouths, fangs, sharp and deadly, glistened in the glow of moonlight.
‘I should never have left the house. . . Joseph. Oh, God. . . I left Joseph all alone. . . ’ I fought back the tears that blurred behind my eyes at the thought of Joseph at home, alone and scared, waiting for me to come back from what was supposed to be a brief walk. Fire flooded my veins, making me cry out as a wolf broke away from the circle and lunged towards me, fangs bared. I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting to feel the wolves tear into me and the pain of it to add to the fire searing my blood.
For what felt like an eternity, the pain faded and I hesitantly opened my eyes. Instead of looking up at the wolf that had lunged for me from my curled up position on the dirt floor, I was eye to eye with them. My senses sharpened beyond what I was familiar with. Ears still pricked forward as the wolves converged on me. I cringed back, waiting for the pain of their bite and the scrape of their claws as they tore into me. With a startled cry that came out as more of an animalistic yip than a human sound, I realized I wasn’t on my hands and knees like I had assumed I was. . . and that these wolves weren’t here to have a moonlit snack.
The truth settled on me like a blanket as I tilted my head back to look at the silver furred paws and tail I now sported. Raising my head, a howl rippled through my body and rent the air. Fear still coursed through me, but I finally felt at peace with myself. I now understood why my family had left me this year and had fear eating at them whenever I mentioned my birth family. With a playful growl and a lightness in my heart, I nipped at the wolf in front of me and bolted into the surrounding trees.
#
My adopted family was sitting on the porch when I showed up the next morning, a sadness that they tried to hide finding purchase in the depths of their eyes and in the smiles they gave me. “Ceri. . . Child. . . ” my mother whispered hoarsely, taking a step towards me as anguish blossomed in her beautiful blue eyes. My heart was heavy, knowing these people were hurt, but I was happy now. I belonged. I lengthened my stride and pulled the woman who I thought of as my mother into a tight embrace. She was tense, her back and shoulders rigid as she slowly brought her arms around me. “Did you know?” I whispered, my own voice thick and my eyes stinging
The woman trembled in my arms. When she spoke, I had to strain my ears to hear her words. “Yes. We knew when we took you in. The pack entrusts a select few of us to raise their young in the human world until their sixteenth birthday. On that day, we're to leave the child alone for him or her to find their way back to the pack. Even if they don't know what they are, the children always find their way to them. ”
Sobs racked my mothers' tiny frame and I tightened my arms around her. “It's okay. I understand why you never told me. I wouldn't have believed you. I would've probably thought you all were crazy. ”
I lifted my head slightly and caught Joseph's gaze. I held a hand out to him and smiled as he reached for me. “I might never have been human, but you raised me and treated me as if I were. You've taught me what it is to be human, to love, live, laugh, and be compassionate. Different blood or not, we're still pack. We're still family. ” I felt the tears spill over, but I wouldn't stop them. I may be a wolf, an animal, but I am also human.
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